


Kaiboose (Placeholder Title)

by BloodBagguettesBlood



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: But only in chapter 1, Drinking, Eventual Smut, Gen, I'll get to it be patient, Stripping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-27 02:51:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15015056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodBagguettesBlood/pseuds/BloodBagguettesBlood
Summary: Kaikaina Grif finds out that the hottest member of Blue Team might not be Tex after all.





	1. Slumber Party

“Who’s idea was this?” Church asked. “It was Tucker, wasn’t it?”

“It was me, actually.” Kai said with an attitude. “We’re stuck here in this canyon for like a year and we haven’t done anything fun since I got here.”

Kai and Church were sitting on the floor of the main room of blue base. They sat facing each other, waiting for the rest of the team.

“Come on, Sister,” Tucker said as he sat down next to her, “what about the time we went...ahem...cave exploring?”

Church and Kai gave him a tired look.

“Like I said, nothing fun yet.” She thought Tucker would cry. “Me and all my college friends would have sleepovers all the time before I shipped out, it’s gonna be so much fun!”

“You went to college?” Church said.

“Yeah, got my Bachelor’s in Business Administration. Had to make money somehow after the dean confiscated my webcams, again.”

“Yeah. What, what?”

“Aren’t sleepovers like for kids?” Tucker said. “I haven’t been to a sleepover since I was like five.”

“Yeah, also I don’t think it counts as sleeping over if we all already live here, Sister.”

“Will you guys lighten up already? I stole some booze from my brother and I want it to be gone before he asks for it back.”

Tex and Caboose walked into the room together, coming in from their daily workout together. Tex was surprised to find that Caboose was the only one who could keep up with her, and she didn’t mind the company.

“You stole Grif’s booze without him noticing? I’m impressed, Kai.” She said as she passed a bottle of water to Caboose.

“You two are staying, right?” Kai asked, motioning to the empty spaces on the floor she saved for them. “We could use some help with this vodka you know.”

“No thanks, Sis, I got stuff to do. And I don’t even think Caboose dri- Caboose?”

Tex turned to face him but he was already sitting down next to Church, who cautiously passed him a shot glass. All of Blue Team was looking at Tex now, and she didn’t want to hear them bitch about this for a week.

“Okay, okay.” She sat down and completed their circle on the floor.

“Alright!” Kai cheered. “Let’s get this party started with some truth or dare!”

“So we’re gonna use the bottle to spin and not to drink?” Tex asked.

“Both.” Kai answered. “If it lands on you, you take a shot and you have to pick truth or dare, and whoever spun it gets to pick.”

“Caboose?” Church said in his preschool teacher voice. “You got the rules down, buddy?”

“Oh sure, I played this game all the time with my college friends.”

“Caboose, you went to college too!?” Church said, appalled.

“No, I just liked to hang out there a lot.”

“Okay, since I stole the booze, I’m going first.”

Kai placed the bottle on the smooth concrete floor and spun it. The bottle stopped pointed at Church. He took his shot without thinking about how long it’s been since he was drunk.  
“Okay Leonard,” Kai said, teasing him for his first name, “truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“You sure?”

“Not anymore, I pick truth.” He said.

“Okay. If you had to pick one Red to sleep with, who would you pick?”

The rest of the team turned to Church, suddenly very interested in his answer.

“Hmmm…” He thought for longer than he meant to. “...Donut.”

The Blues let out a collective gossipy “ooooooo” as he answered.

“He seems like he’s the only one who’d be any good. My turn to spin.”

Church spun the bottle and it stopped on Tucker. He took his shot in an over the top gulp, winking at Tex as he took it.

“Truth or dare, Tucker?”

“Dare. Do your worst, Church.” He said, trying to show off.

“Okay. Kiss me.”

Tex gasped, which made Kai giggle. Caboose’s eyes lit up like fireworks.

“Waitwaitwait, you can’t...I mean, we don’t…”

“Hey, I’m not embarrassed.” Church said. “If you don’t want to play anymore, we can finish this bottle without you.”

Tucker scooted over to Church and leaned forward. He gave Church a quick peck on the lips with his eyes closed. The other Blues mocked an applause for them.

“Okay, okay. Get ready for this one, Blue Base.”

Tucker spun the bottle, almost sliding it out of the circle. It stopped on Kai.

“Oh yes!” he said, celebrating to himself as she took her shot, easy as drinking water. 

“Okay, Sis. I dare you-”

“I pick truth.”

“Dammit.” Kai smiled a smug smile at Tucker. “Okay, truth then. How many people in this canyon have you slept with since you’ve been here?”

“Well let’s see.” She counted quietly to herself. “I think it’s right around zero.”

“Really?” Tucker said. “Nobody?”

“Yeah, nobody.”

“Not even, say, a handsome blue soldier with a glowing sword?”

“Doesn’t ring a bell.” Kai said, casually reaching for the bottle.

They played for almost an hour, nearly finishing the bottle of stolen vodka. Everyone was drunk by the end of the night, Tucker had pretty much passed out, Tex and Church snuck off to make out twice, and Kaikaina Grif was having a great time. She had the bottle again, only enough left for one more turn.

“Okay everyone!” She announced. “One last spin! Let’s goooooooooo!”

She gave the bottle a flamboyant spin and watched it stop spinning as the bottle pointed at Caboose. Nobody had seen Caboose drunk before now, but he was the most pleasant drunk any of them had ever seen. He was the kind of drunk person who didn’t have a filter between their head and their mouth, but all this meant was he was a lot nicer than he was sober.

“Truth or dare, Caboose!” Tex said, not hating this canyon for once.

“I pick dare!” He said, throwing his arms up in excitement.

“Okay Caboose,” Kai said with a laugh, “I dare you to strip to your underwear.”

Another drawn out “ooooooo” came from the Blues as Caboose stood up, smiling so wide you could see it from behind.

The Blues were mostly in it for the comedy of Caboose walking around Blue Base half naked, but they fell silent as he slipped off his shirt. He was built like a professional weightlifter. His arms were bulkier than his sleeves let on. His abs could have been sculpted from stone.

Tucker couldn’t tell if he was more jealous or turned on. He figured it didn’t matter. Church was trying his best to hide his obvious arousal, but nobody was looking at him right now anyway. Tex had gotten hints at Caboose’s body from working out, but this was not what she was expecting.

Kai’s jaw fell open at the sight of the shirtless soldier. His armor didn’t do his body justice, she decided she didn’t want him to wear it ever again.

“I’m so glad we had a sleepover.” She said.

Caboose was almost oblivious to the effect he was having on his teammates. He started to slip down his shorts when the Blues noticed that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. The blues let him get his shorts down a few inches too low before finally somebody stopped him.

“Caboose!” Kai shouted. “You don’t have to get naked if you don’t have anything on under there.” 

“Ohhhhhhhh.” Caboose said. He looked down and saw that he was about to show more than he meant to, and he was already showing off the v shaped muscles that curved down under his shorts. “I forgot I don’t have undies on. Whoops.”

Caboose pulled his shorts back up. He fell down onto the couch, weakly reaching for his shirt before sprawling himself out. He let his head fall backwards and fell asleep instantly.

The rest of blue team was turning red sitting on the floor. Church stood up and tossed Caboose’s shirt onto him as he slept on the couch. Tex almost wanted to scold Kai for making him stop.

“Well,” Tucker said, pretending not to make a big deal, “I think that means the night is over.”

“Thanks, Kai.” Tex helped her to her feet. “I actually had a good time tonight.”

“Yeah…” Kai said, trying not to stare at the places on Caboose that weren’t covered by the shirt. “...me too…”

“Okay, Leonard.” Tex said. “Time for bed.” She said, carrying him with his arm around her shoulder.

Kai stumbled her way into the supply closet the blues had cleared out for her to sleep in. The standard issue bed almost filled the entire room. She took a look back at Caboose, only able to see his curly, ruffled hair from over the couch.

_Damn..._


	2. Follow That Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai visits her brother in Red Base, and he notices something strange about her.

Kai usually woke up after the rest of the blues, but even more so after last night. She woke up and fumbled her way out of the closet. Church and Tex were arguing about who should cook breakfast. Tucker and Caboose weren't around.

“I'm telling you, Allie, plain cereal doesn't count as breakfast.”

“If you call me Allie again I'll turn you into breakfast.” Tex held herself back as Kai stepped into the bare-bones military kitchen. “Hey Sis.”

“Hey.” she said. “ Where are the boys?”

“Pretty sure Caboose is hanging out with the Reds today.” Church said, angrily grabbing his bowl of plain cereal from Tex. “Tucker isn't up yet.”

“You want some, Kai?” Tex said, ready to pour another bowl.

“Uh,” she looked at the bland looking brown flakes in Church’s bowl. “Actually, I promised Dex I’d have breakfast with him today.”

Tex shrugged and turned back to her bowl.

“Y’know, I told Dex I’d have breakfast with him too, so I’m just gonna-”

“Eat your food, Leonard.” Tex said without turning to look at him.

The walk from one base to the other was always shorter than Kai remembers it. Whatever off-the-map planet they were on had a year-round summer so it was always just a little too hot to walk, but Kai figured a walk would help her sober up.

The sky over the canyon was always clear, it reminded Kai of the skies back home on earth. Not enough planets had clear blue skies, she would say. She remembered one of Sarge’s ranting plans to fight the entire sky because it was blue, and how Dex would whisper comments to her to try and make her laugh. She really did like being in this canyon, being with her brother again.

She didn’t really have a preference for one team, other than the fact that Dex was a Red and Tucker was a Blue. The Reds, though, did seem to have a lot more fun. They were always up to something.

Kai made her way over the last hill and she could see Red Base. Sarge was scolding Grif about something, like he always was. She couldn’t see Donut and Simmons, they were probably inside, she thought. Lopez and Doc were checking out the jeep.

“Halt!” Sarge interrupted his speech to Dex when he saw Kai. “Sorry, missy, but we don’t allow traitors to walk over unannounced!”

“What about Simmons? He was Blue for a while.” Dex said, walking up behind him.

“That doesn’t count.”

“Doc was O’Malley for a while.”

“Purple is a shade of red.”

“Caboose is here too.”

“Caboose?” She forgot Tex said he was here. He peeked his head out from under the jeep when he heard his name. 

“Hi Kaikaina!” He shouted to her. She waved back at him.

“Sir, I don’t think my sister is gonna be a problem.” Dex said, giving her a hug.

They walked inside the base. The layout for both bases were identical, except everything here was red, and a lot messier. Empty plates and unfinished gadgets littered almost every room of the base. Donut and Simmons were in the main room, standing over a table with blueprints laid out.

“I’m telling you, putting strobe lights in our helmets instead of flashlights would be too big a drain on our suits’ internal power systems.” Simmons said, gently pushing the papers away.

“And I’m telling you that we just got a new shipment of double-A batteries, so it'll be fine.”

“Donut, don’t be ridiculous. You know they run on triple-A”

The Grifs walked to the kitchen straight away.

“You told them you promised to eat with me?” He asked his sister.

“Yeah, Tex was serving up plain cereal.”

“Plain cereal!?” Dex almost yelled. “That’s gotta be some kind of war crime.”

“Anyhow, i figured you wouldn’t mind eating again.”

“Especially not with you, sis.” He put his arm around her as she served herself some of the eggs and potatoes that she knows he loves to cook.

They sat and ate and Kai told him about the night before, and apologized for stealing his booze.

“And that wasn’t even the craziest part!” she said, putting both their plates on the counter by the sink.

“I dunno, sounds pretty crazy so far.”

“Okay, so the last spin was me and I spun it and it landed on Caboose and so he said dare, which was cool because they barely picked dare at all so I’m like hey might as well make it fun, so I dared Caboose to-”

“Oh! You’re telling Grif about the slumber party!”

She almost fell out of her seat when she heard Caboose. She wondered, not for the first time, how he could move so quietly.

“Oh!” She said, trying to act natural. “Hi Caboose. Yes, I’m just telling him about how much fun it was to hang out with you...guys...all of you blue guys...yeah.”

She turned away from Caboose, trying not to look at Dex either.

“So what did you dare Caboose to do?” Dex asked.

“Oh, I forgot. I don’t really remember too much about last night, you know?” She said, forcing a laugh.

“Yeah, me neither.” Caboose said. He went to the sink to wash off the grease from his face and hands. “Drinking usually makes me forget stuff.”

“Do you think you’d remember it better if you didn’t drink?” Dex asked.

“Remember what?” Caboose asked. He splashed his face with water. Kai wished she could take her eyes off him.

“Figures.” Dex said.

“It was really cool though. I usually only drink with my old college friends or my sisters.” Caboose said, wiping his face down with a maroon towel. Kai got up and grabbed a soda from the fridge.

“You went to college?” Dex asked.

“No, he just hung out there.” Kai said, sitting back down and taking a drink.

“When did you become a Caboose expert, Kai?”

She almost choked on her soda, coughing a few times.

“What, expert? No he just said that yesterday.”

“I thought you said you didn’t remember last night.”

“Well I...remember a little.”

“Okay.” He said. “But you had fun though?” He turned back to his sister.

“Huh?” She said, still not looking away from Caboose. “Oh,” she turned back to Dex. “Yeah, it was a fun time. Wish you were there.”

Caboose stood up and walked into the main room with Donut and Simmons. He looked around for a second and then grabbed a toolbag with red tape on the side of it and walked back outside, calling out to Lopez. Dex looked at Kai, who still wasn’t looking up from the table.

“You’re acting weird.” He said. “Did something happen with you two?”

“Who two?”

“You and Caboose.”

“Ugh, I wish.” She said under her breath.

“What!?” Dex said.

“What!? Nothing!”

He looked at her, then out the door where Caboose left, then back at her.

“You’re blushing.”

“No I’m not.”

“You never blush.”

“Yeah, why start now?” She turned in her chair away from him.

Dex stood up and patted her on the shoulder. He walked to his shared room with Simmons.

“At least its not Tucker.” He said before ducking through the doorway.

“Not funny Dex!”


End file.
